Women

I find it somewhat curious… rather annoying… and totally distasteful. All this anger at immigrants (or the possibility of immigrants). Let’s lock those other people up. Let’s put them in some dark corner of our city. Let’s build a wall – maybe even two or three! – to keep them out.

All the while, today’s world is so connected. Your grocery store. My clothing store. YouTube. The news. Photos. People. So much connection.

Yet so much suspicion and distaste – even hatred –  for those who are different.

Here’s a postcard from my French cousin Fab and her partner husband Jean-Claude. The postcard comes from the Memorial of the Camp des Milles. This postcard proclaims, “Understand in order to agitate.”

Here’s the original version as seen on the postcard. Scroll down for the English translation.

Ton christ est juif

Ta voiture est japonaise

Ton couscous est algerin

Ta démocratie est grecque

Ton cafe est bresilien

Ton chianti est italien

Et tu reproches a ton voisin d’être un étranger…

Your christ is jewish

Your car is japanese

Your couscous is algerian

Your democracy is greek

Your coffee is brazilian

Your chianti is italian

And you reproach your neighbor because s/he is a stranger               

A tribe can be wonderful. Just read Seth Godin’s book of that name. Think about what we want to do with donors – build a tribe that cares. Think about movements like social justice – building a tribe that will act together for good.

Tribes can be so marvelous and special and extraordinary and helpful and useful and great agents of change.

And tribes can be so awful, so disgusting, so vicious, so harmful, so hurtful. I fight those tribes. I want them gone gone gone.

Which tribes do you belong to? Which tribes do you avoid – and even fight?

P.S. An important article about change in U.S. demographics (in a decade or so, whites will be the minority). But who continues to seemingly control the world?

Check out these interesting articles. I find lots of this kind of stuff at TRANSFORMATION…where love meets social justice. Part of the website called openDemocracy. (What’s openDemocracy? A digital commons magazine. Champions human rights…)

So check out these articles I found by subscribing to TRANSFORMATION.

Racism is not a mental illness

Will the left ever get religion?

Welcome to the empathy wars

Dylann Roof is not an extremist

Are you cultivating knowledge or just consuming information?

And here’s another interesting article… From BUSTLE: How this landmark birth control case led to the Supreme Court’s gay marriage ruling

As a subscriber to The Nation magazine, I just received this email. I’ve heard The Reverend Dr. William J. Barber II, President of the North Carolina NAACP. He gave a marvelous and inspiring speech to the Planned Parenthood Federation of America. I couldn’t resist sharing his email here.

“How do we build a people’s movement?

“We start with vision. Prophetic moral vision seeks to penetrate despair, so that we can believe in and embrace new futures.

“In North Carolina, we had a movement that had already reformed the voting laws before Obama was on the ballot—an interracial, intergenerational, anti-poverty, pro-labor fusion movement that was challenging even Democrats to be more committed to a moral vision.

“Since the social, political, and economic system of slavery was defeated by progressive Northern white families aligning with hundreds of thousands of African slaves and freed people in the South in 1865, The Nation has fought to repair the deep breaches this system created in the human family of the nation. Today, when Southern legislatures have fallen to Tea Party zealots, the need for a Southern-oriented anti-racism mass movement is greater than ever. The Nation will continue to play an important role in building this movement in the South, and explaining it to the rest of the nation.

“We need a transformative movement—state-based, deeply moral, deeply constitutional, pro-justice. We need to build for the long term, not around one issue or campaign.

       “We need the kind of language that’s not left or right or conservative or liberal, but moral, fusion language that says:

• It is extreme and immoral to suppress the right to vote.
• It is extreme and immoral to deny Medicaid to millions of poor people, especially when denied by people who have been elected to office and receive their own insurance through that office.
• It is extreme and immoral to raise taxes on the working poor and cut earned-income tax credits, especially in order to slash taxes for the wealthy.
• It is extreme and immoral to shut off people’s water in Detroit.
• It is extreme and immoral to end unemployment compensation for those who have lost jobs through no fault of their own.
• It is extreme and immoral to desegregate and underfund our public schools.
• It is mean, it is immoral, it is extreme to kick hardworking people when they are done.
• That’s not just bad policy. It’s a violation of the common good and a disregard for human rights. In face, this kind of philosophy is rooted in the policies of immoral deconstruction. If you look at these policies carefully, they are historically inaccurate, they are constitutional inconsistent, they are morally indefensible, and they are economically insane.

“That’s not just bad policy. It’s a violation of the common good and a disregard for human rights. In fact, this kind of philosophy is rooted in the policies of immoral deconstruction. If you look at these policies carefully, they are historically inaccurate, they are constitutionally inconsistent, they are morally indefensible, and they are economically insane.

       “The day is over for quick political platitudes. The day is over for little campaign slogans. We’ve got to build a movement.

“We’ve got to think more deeply. It’s going to take more than a few texts, and a few e-mails. We must engage in action that shifts the center of political gravity in this nation. And we’ve got to do it state by state. And we’ve got to say—no matter who’s in Congress, or who’s in the general assemblies of our state, or who’s in the governor’s mansion, or who’s in the White House—we are demanding higher ground.

       “We’ve got to say you don’t have enough political power to vote us away, you don’t have enough insults to talk us away, and to the Koch brothers, you don’t have enough money to buy us away.”

And The Reverend Dr. Barber ends his letter with, “In solidarity….

Yes, this letter is a solicitation letter to those of us who subscribe to The Nation magazine. And yes, I sent in a donation in response to this powerful letter.

But for this blog, I’m not asking you to give. I’m asking you to read. To absorb. To vote. To fight. In solidarity with others demanding justice.

Sunday, June 7 is a critically important day for those who believe in social justice. We will celebrate an important historical milestone in the reproductive rights movement…the 50^th anniversary of Griswold vs. Connecticut.

On June 7, 1965, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that married couples had the right to privacy in making medical decisions about the use of contraceptives. This landmark decision legalized birth control on a national level, and opened a pivotal door for the expansion of vital reproductive health services for women and their families across the nation.

I’m proud to be a board member of Planned Parenthood of Southern New England (Rhode Island and Connecticut.) It’s my honor to serve as Board Chair, 2014 – 2016. And I give to PPFA, too.

Here’s part of what our CEO, Judy Tabar, shared with the PPSNE Board of Directors:

“It was the arrest in 1961 of one of my predecessors, Planned Parenthood League of Connecticut executive director Estelle Griswold along with Dr. Lee Buxton for counseling and providing patients with birth control that set this historic case in motion.

“While we have made phenomenal progress in the past 50 years, we still have a long way to go before all women can fully realize the rights that were won with the Griswold case. Troubling health disparities persist across race and class lines in our society. The United States still has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the developed world. Yet just as all those involved in the Griswold case knew they could make a difference, I know that we too can – and are! – creating positive change.

“Let’s imagine 50 years from now when we celebrate Griswold’s 100^th anniversary. By then we can erase the health disparities that currently exist among young women, low-income women and women of color. Together, let’s continue building a future where everyone can access the information and services they need. Let’s build a future where all women, men, and teens can fully pursue their dreams, wherever they may lead.”

Thank you, Judy, for these important words.

I see Estelle’s photo in the lobby of PPSNE corporate headquarters whenever I’m there. I smile and thank her. And I thank all the donors and volunteers and staff who fight for reproductive rights and justice everywhere. All this is part of social justice.

“Sarcasm and subtlety are wasted on the easily confused.”

That statement resonated with me.

I was talking with a high school teacher, a debate coach.

I don’t remember what we were talking about. But the context was likely social justice. Things like racism and sexism and socioeconomic rights and … Well, you get the gist.

• Subtlety….The quality of being subtle. That’s what the dictionary says. I get so annoyed with definitions that use a form of the word for defining. But the definition goes on to mention synonyms like: delicacy, understatedness, nuance…
• Sarcasm….The use of irony to mock or convey contempt. Synonyms include cynicism, scoffing…
• Confused…Unable to think clearly. Bewildered. Befuddled. Puzzled. Perplexed.

Of course, you’re wondering where I’m going with this. And I’m not really sure. I just really like the statement.

But, maybe I could apply this sometimes…. Like with a group (e.g., board or committee meeting, trying to make a point with a client, trying to agitate in a presentation…in an article…as a headline for a blog or something….???!!!)

So here are some examples that I worked on to utilize the tool of “sarcasm and subtlety are wasted on the easily confused.” Of course, the challenge of this is, as Dr. Albert Mehrabian tells us, communications is only 30% of what you say. The other 70% is voice, tone, face, gestures, huge tacky rings, etc.

• “I’m so tired of whiny people.  (I’m being really sarcastic!) People should just pull themselves up by their bootstraps and earn their way in life.” (Sarcasm again. I’m so pissed at this sentiment. Just read the book The Self-Made Myth: And the Truth About How Government Helps Individuals and Businesses Succeed by Brian Miller and Mike Lapham.) Actually, a fair amount of people believe that those other people should just “pull themselves up.” Easier said than done, I say. 

• “I’m not so sure there’s a glass ceiling anymore. Black people and women are CEOs of big companies now.” (Indeed, there are CEOs of big companies who are black and female. But not very many. And, according to research, women continue to bump into the glass ceiling. And women are still paid less than men for the same work. And and and …) I’m thinking this statement is pretty subtle. And I sure am being sarcastic.

• “I often wonder about men who choose to stay home and care for children. I wonder if they just couldn’t get a good job. I suspect that the wife earns more money than the husband made.” (What?! Maybe the guy is married to a guy. And one husband wanted to stay home with the kids. And the other husband wanted to work outside the home. Or both wanted to stay home but they needed an income so they drew straws or talked and voted or or … Or maybe the guy is the nanny…Or maybe there’s no marriage involved…Or…)

I use quite a bit of sarcasm myself…in life and in work. Mostly, I don’t think I’m too subtle. But maybe sometimes I am. I think I’m rather subtle (maybe not the right word) when I keep using “life partner” instead of “husband.” I watch the faces. And people do tell me that they wondered if I was married, living with a man but unmarried, or a lesbian… And that’s exactly what I want them to wonder!!! For all kinds of reason, which, if you read any of my blogs or articles or books or hear me present… You know that I do this on purpose to make a statement about social justice.

Okay. Off to work. But first, thanks Aaron. You made me think. And I really do like that statement, “Sarcasm and subtlety are wasted on the easily confused.”

Here I am, another blog today. But how could I resist?

Today, April 14, is Equal Pay Day… “the day selected each year by the National Committee on Pay Equity…to draw attention to how much longer women must work to earn what men earned in the previous year.”

• John Kennedy signed the Equal Pay Act in 1963…Back then, women earned 59 cents on the dollar paid to a man in the same kind of job. By 2013 (most recent data), women were paid 78 cents on the dollar.
• Progress? Actually, according to the article, “stalled” is the appropriate term.
• But really? This is called gender bias. There isn’t any other reason. Even when we’re trying to be aware and conscious, we’ve been socialized to be anything but.

Another April 14 reminder. The year was 1865. Abraham Lincoln was shot. He died April 15. That would be the Civil War. The fight against slavery.

• Progress? Sure. No more slavery, so to speak. The Civil Rights Movement.
• But racism still exists…for people of all colors but white here in the U.S. of A.

Justice? Not really. Racism. Sexism. Homophobia. Socioeconomic injustice.

We don’t have equality. We don’t have equity. The two are different and we have neither.

Let’s keep fighting.

“Justice is merely incidental to law and order.”

Thank you J. Edgar Hoover. I find that statement ugly and horrifying… And I’ll fight you and your kind forever.

“The audacity to fight for justice. The perseverance to win.” 

From NCLR, the National Center for Lesbian Rights. I find that beautiful and wonderful and inspiring. I joined that fight a long time ago. And we’re winning.

Today is Thanksgiving in the U.S. But still I went into my office to do a bit of clean up before heading out to the wonderful Feist/Cornell family with moms and dads and the delightful and special kids, Merlin and Forrest.

I checked the New York Times online. Read Charles Blow’s column about Ferguson. And I was so angry and sad. So I’ve spent about 1 hour writing the email below to Mr. Blow…and to Mr. Kristof.

And now, I’m sharing with you, my reader who read Simone Uncensored – social commentary.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Dear Mr. Blow… And Mr. Kristof, too.

“We the people” must add together Mr. Blow‘s column “Fury After Ferguson” and Mr. Kristof‘s 4-part column“When Whites Just Don’t Get It.” (Read all four parts!) Maybe then “we the WHITE people” will get it.

But I doubt it. Too many people don’t understand unearned privilege (Dr. Peggy McIntosh and her writings). As I always say: “I’m a white, heterosexual, well-educated, affluent woman. I win except for gender. Because it’s a disadvantage to be a woman in every country in the world, including the U.S. But because I was born white and heterosexual, and I’m well-educated (thanks mom and dad) and affluent (partly due to all that unearned privilege previously mentioned!), I win. I win except for gender.

And, I find my winning to be appalling and angering and I sure as hell do feel guilty. (By the way, I love to watch people flinch when I say my of unearned privilege. I can work it in to just about any presentation. I write about it. I use it in my consulting. And I listen but certainly respond when white people tell me they don’t have privilege and men tell me they don’t have privilege. But some people do get it. They recognize my privilege and their own. They’re pleased that I’m speaking out.)

I fantasize about a world where everyone understands the nature of their own personal (unearned) privilege. My fantasy includes everyone recognizing that we shouldn’t talk so much about “disadvantage” but rather talk about unearned privilege. We can make more progress that way, with that acknowledgement and that conversation.

As you say in your column, Mr. Blow… And I’m paraphrasing and adding my own spin to your thoughts: What the hell do the advantaged/privileged expect to happen but violent revolution when we privileged continue to ignore (or only modestly recognize) what’s happening?

• How do we expect parents to explain to their children to “find a police person” when you’re lost or hurt or need help. But be careful, my son, because you’re a black male. Walk slowly towards the cop. Keep your hands visible at all times. Make sure you don’t have anything that might be construed as a gun — maybe a bottle of water in your hand or a bulky snack in your pocket. And by the way, don’t ever wear a hoodie. And don’t be too tall or too big or too black or or…
• How do we expect our LGBTQ neighbors to live? Deny your sexual orientation. Hide it as best you can. Be careful about the pronouns you use. Because…Well…You know. You’re just too different. And different is dangerous. And gods and goddesses might not approve of you. And…
• And if you’re a woman…Let’s see…The U.S. is something like 82nd in the world when it comes to the number of women in the federal legislature. Women are still paid less than men for the same work. Any profession dominated by women has lower wages. And, yippee…Facebook will now pay to freeze your eggs? Wow.
• And class… Money… The rich. What middle class? And the poor. And tax rates that are less for Warren Buffett that his secretary! (And Mr. Buffett is appalled but the U.S. Congress isn’t.)

John Rawls (in his book A Theory of Justice) tells a story that Warren Buffet paraphrased and I paraphrased again and others do, too, I’m sure: “Imagine that it’s 24 hours before you’re born. And a genie appears to you and asks, “What rules do you want in the world when you’re born… rules to apply to you and your children and your grandchildren. But you don’t know if you’ll be born white or black, rich or poor, male or female, heterosexual or homosexual… What rules do you want in the world?” I want a world where it doesn’t matter. The rules (and the behaviors) are the same for everyone.

We create our world together. And we in the U.S. have created together a classist, rich/poor, homophobic, racist, sexist society. And the privileged must fight for those our society has marginalized. Marginalized on purpose. Marginalized because we don’t understand and recognize privilege. Marginalized because we’re too afraid and too ignorant and too “busy” to stand up and speak out. I always remind people, Martin Luther King Jr. didn’t march with blacks only. There were some whites there, too. The privileged must work with the marginalized. Not in a patronizing manner! In in equity, sharing recognition.

While on vacation, I read a series of interesting tidbits about the U.S. and spying…the economic theory that claims that markets are pretty much always good…and other things that I dislike.

So here are the original articles:

1.  Twitter is suing the U.S. government. Very interesting. And even more interesting because it is published in the Nonprofit Quarterly. I love NPQ’s tagline: “Promoting and active and engaged democracy.” That is, after all, a primary purpose of the nonprofit sector worldwide. It seems that Twitter is really annoyed that the Department of Justice and the FBI don’t want Twitter to inform all of us about how much Twitter is required to turn over, etc. Remember that free speech thing?

2. Here’s another startling article: “The Trillion Dollar Fundraising Time Bomb,” from The Agitator. Roger Agitator comments on a Forbes article about student debt… And just imagine the impact on the economy and giving and fundraising and…

3. And this next article makes me very very very very happy: See the New York Times article (October 13, 2014; author, Binyamin Appelbaum) about the French economist who won the Nobel Prize in Economics…for his work on regulation. YES! Jean Tirole’s work actually questions the “widely held view in academia long associated with the University of Chicago economics department.” Tirole actually thinks that markets fail!!!!! And he has clarified “what sort of regulations…we want to put in place so large and mighty firms will act in society’s interest…”

By the way, apparently it is the “second consecutive year that the [Nobel] committee has honored an economist whose work essentially assumes that markets are often inefficient.” I’m so glad that some people are actually questioning the markets. I only wish that the U.S. Department of Justice had actually jailed some of the 2008 Wall Street people. Fines aren’t good enough for their ilk.

4. And how about a big dose of sexism…violence against women? I shouldn’t be amazed. But I’m continually angered. I wonder when it will stop – if it will ever stop. And what jerks those gaming corporations are.

Do you know who Hermione is? She’s one Harry Potter‘s pals. We’ve watched her grow up.

And even if you don’t know Hermione Granger is, you want to pay attention to a woman named Emma Watson, film star, graduate of Rhode Island’s Brown University.

But most importantly right now… Emma-Hermione-Watson is the UN Women Goodwill Ambassador. And just a few days ago, Hermione  Emma announced the HeForShe Campaign at the UN.

Watch it on YouTube. If you work in the social justice movement, make all your staff and board members watch it. Talk about what it means. It’s time to use the word “feminism” without silly comments and denials and …

Watch Emma. Speak out.

And by the way… Emma refers to Hillary Clinton’s famous speech to the UN’s Fourth Women’s Conference. Beijing, 1995.

Women’s rights are human rights. When will we win the war? And always remember…There are men who are true feminists. And there are very definitely women who are not feminists… even though some of them think they are.