Leadership

One value statement from the Nordstrom store: “Service to the customer above all else.”

I bought shoes there. Tried them on and all seemed fine. But the first day I wore them out in the world … oops … hurt my feet.

I told a friend how I had just wasted the money, darn it all. And I was kinda criticizing my mistake. My friend told me to return the shoes. “But I can’t return shoes that I’ve already worn,” I responded. And my friend responded: “At Nordstrom’s you can.”

So I took the shoes back. And the sales person said, “Of course, we’ll take the shoes back. I’m so sorry that the shoes didn’t work.” The sales person didn’t have to go to her boss to see if I could return them. The sales person just took them back.

A Nordstrom story I heard…that is sooooooo amazing! That same value: “Service to the customer above all else.”

A woman goes to the make-up counter. She’s looking for something specific. She and the sales guy keep looking and looking and just can’t find what she wants. She’s not angry or anything. She plans to come back another time.

Out the front door she goes. Walking down the street. And she hears someone behind her calling out: “Wait Miss. Wait!” She turns and there’s the make-up sales guy running towards her, waving. “I found it,” he says. Big smile.

He gives her the make-up thing. Says, “Have a good day!” And turns around and walks back to Nordstrom’s. (And if you’re curious… NO! he didn’t ask for the money.)

What do you call all that? I think of respect and consideration. Going that proverbial “extra mile”. Just plain nice and thoughtful.

I’m not naive. I know that’s “good business”. But since when is good service, respect, consideration bad?

You and I can distinguish between genuine and fake. I’m aiming for genuine and appreciate genuine.

From John Rawls, A Theory of Justice, 1971…as told by Warren Buffet and modified by Simone Joyaux

Let’s say it was 24 hours before you were born, and a genie appeared and said: “What I’m going to do is let you set the rules of the society into which you will be born. You can set the economic rules and the social rules and whatever rules you set will apply during your lifetime and your children’s lifetimes and even the lifetimes of your grandchildren.”

And you’ll say, “Well, that’s great. I get to define what kind of world I want to live in.” But you’re smart, too. You ask: “What’s the catch?”

And the genie says, “Here’s the catch. You don’t know if you’re going to be born poor or rich, of color or white, female or male or some other sexual identity.”

Now what rules do you want?

My first book, co-authored with Tom Ahern…Keep Your Donors: The Guide to Better Communications and Stronger Relationships, published in 2008. The final special chapter, is called “CODA: Philanthropy’s Moral Dilemma.”

Later, I made this book chapter into a stand-alone publication…a document in the Learning Center in this website. A document included in workshops and courses that I teach…over and over.

I started that chapter with 3 quotations…I often use quotations in my business books … quotes from various sources, even romance novels and sci fi fantasy!

Philanthropy’s Moral Dilemma…my manifesto…starts with 3 quotations:

• One from Alfre Woodard in the special book Robin Hood Was Right. (Today her reference to “every man, woman, and child” might be altered to better reflect sexual identity.)

• The other from Howard Zinn – You Can’t Be Neutral on a Moving Train.

• And as Pope John XXIII said, “Justice comes before charity.”

In this manifesto, I wrote about: The politics of power in philanthropy. The moral dilemma facing philanthropy. Power, sometimes silent but ever present. Privilege, the driving nature of power. Understanding the two types of philanthropy. Tradition dominates. The less social justice we have, the more philanthropy we need. We are complicit. Philanthropy as a democratizing act. Attacking the moral dilemma.

And here’s the conclusion to this 2008 manifesto:

= = = = = = = = = =

How naive was I? I’m writing this issue of Simone Uncensored on March 24, 2021.

I look at all the shootings………… The usual targets, our Black friends, neighbors, community members – and now school children and………. The USA which ranks 53rd in gender parity throughout the world’s nations………. Denying reproductive justice and sexual identity……….

I feel guiltier and guiltier. I aim for shock and discomfort – particularly when I’m speaking at some conference somewhere. I often introduce myself like this: “Hello, my name is Simone Joyaux. I’m a white, heterosexual, well-educated and affluent woman. All that unearned privilege.”

And I watch some people twitch at that self-intro.

• There were a couple of written reviews that said “I didn’t come here to hear that stuff. I came to learn about fundraising!” (My response, if I could have contacted them: “Fundraising and nonprofits and government and for-profits and all of life are about this stuff!!!)

• Then a woman came up to me at the end of a live presentation. She asked me, “May I hug you for what you said? Because I can’t marry a women I love.”

Sometimes I feel lost and so sad…even as I recognize my unearned privilege.

I’m reflecting on my 32 years as a full-time consultant. (On January 1, 2021, I started by 33rd year as a full-time consultant.)

Wow! How marvelous have these working years been!!!!

So I have this idea: I’ll compile lots of my writings over the years… And then post bunches of pages in a “compilation” book… Online.

The compilation will be posted on my website and announced in my newsyletter and on this, my blog.

Different articles and resources from different years…on different subjects…

I’ll probably even recruit someone to do a really cool cover.

But the document itself will be a downloadable PDF. And I’m thinking for free…As a gift to everyone I’ve learned from, worked with, whatever…

What do you think?

Special thanks to Wendy Weinstein who responded to my blog’s return with these 2 marvelous quotes to join those that I had posted. Wendy is the Director of Development at the Clay Art Center, Port Chester NY.

Thank you thank you, Wendy…For these glorious additions.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” (From our beloved Martin Luther King, Jr.)

And from the brilliant author Maya Angelou: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

All this is leadership and social justice. Fundraising and donor centrism and governance and management. And life, too.

Hello, again.

Wow. I haven’t written a Simone Uncensored Blog since August 3, 2020. 3 months ago.

But I’m back now.

First: Remember that I do publish my newsyletter monthly. Subscribe on my website. T’is a traditional newsletter – but I call it a newsyletter. Mini articles. Suggested resources. And some stuff just for fun.

Second: You can subscribe to this (mostly) weekly blog, Simone Uncensored on my website, too. Yes, separate subscriptions. Always remember that Simone Uncensored is ME…UNCENSORED. Longer articles. Really candid. Often provocative and maybe even ranting and raving about something.

I’m gonna start easy after my 3-month hiatus. I just want to share some quotations. Quotations that make me hopeful, give me strength, and some level of peace.

I think I’ve told you before that I’ve collected quotations since my high school years. Little notebooks. So many handwritten.

So here goes…In honor of of the US 2020 election and… And to remind us of how much more work there is to do.

• “Hope has two daughters, anger and courage. They are both lovely.” (Saint Augustine)

• “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.” (Martin Luther King, Jr.)

• “This is the oldest story in America: the struggle to determine whether ‘we the people’ is a spirtual idea embedded in a political reality – one nation, indivisible – or merely a charade masquerading as piety and manipulated by the powerful and privileged to sustain their own way of life at the expense of others.” (Stated by Bill Moyers in June 2003. At the “Take Back America” Conference.)

And for those of us working and volunteering in the philanthropic sector: From the Greek word “philanthropia” (love of humankind). And my favorite definition of philanthropy…voluntary action for the common good. (That’s from Robert Payton, one of the early greats of philanthropy.)

• “Philanthropy is commendable, but it must not cause the philanthropists to overlook the circumstances of economic injustice that make philanthropy necessary.” (Martin Luther King, Jr.)

• “Charity is good, but supporting and creating social change are about power. Power can infuse lives with purpose and dignity. That opens up the possibility of joy. The life of the giver, as well as that of the receiver, is transformed…No matter who we are, no matter how much money we have, whatever our color, gender, age, religion, or language, we can bring change to the world around us. We can open our minds, rool up our sleeves, and reach out our hands.” (Alfre Woodard – in her preface to the book Robin Hood Was Right, 2000)

SOME WONDERFUL BOOKS TO READ…As we struggle to move forward…

• Robin Hood Was Right: A Guide to Giving Your Money for Social Change (Collins, Rogers, Garner)

• You Can’t Be Neutral on a Moving Train (Howard Zinn)

• The Self-Made Myth (Miller and Lapham)

• Make Trouble (Cecile Richards)

• Between the World and Me (Ta-Nehisi Coates)

I’ve always been an avid reader.

When I was young (maybe 9 or 10 or so years old)…My mom kinda yelled at me: “Simone! Put the goddamn book down and go outside and play.” I think maybe I asked her if I could take the book with me. Just imagine her response.

Until my mid teens…every summer I would ride my bike to the library and take out 7 books. Get a glass of lemonade and go to the basement where there was a couch and it was cooler than outside or upstairs – and no one came downstairs to bother me. I’d read a book a day.

What was I reading for fun then? Probably lots of the same stuff I read now for fun : Romance novels but only selected romance novelists. Sci fi fantasy – but that’s new – since I was student teaching and an 8th grade student explained why sci fi was so cool. Spy, thrillers.  That’s my fun time.

What else do I read now? When I’m learning and enhancing my craft and stimulating my brain? Business books. Some of my favorite authors: Business books NOT specific to the nonprofit sector/philanthropy: Seth Godin. Jim Collins. Peter Senge. Malcolm Gladwell. Chip & Dan Heath. Peter Senge. Daniel Goleman. And and and and ….

For the nonprofit sector, I think I might require all staff to read  John Gardner’s monograph Building Community. I’d require all senior staff to add these two monographs: Ken Dayton’s Governance is Governance Is Governance and Jim Collins’ Good to Great and the Social Sectors.

So this blog is recommending just a few of the books that I’ve found most useful/helpful/special/important to me. I think all of these are particularly important to any senior professional in any field – including  the nonprofit sector – especially the CEO and CDO. If I were a CEO or CDO today, I’d insist upon a Book Club for senior staff.

By the way, none of the books recommended below focus on the nonprofit sector, governance or fundraising. But I’ve found all of these useful, helpful, still relevant, hugely meaningful…whatever…to my decades of work in the nonprofit sector.

And here’s more reading for the top-notch professionals. The non-siloed thinkers. The lifelong learners. Those who integrate various schools of thought and fight silos and use conversation as a core business practice and read across disciplines and….

The Hidden Brain: How our Unconscious Minds Elect Presidents, Control Markets, Wage Wars, and Save Our Lives, Shankar Vedantam

Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other, Sherry Turkle

Permission Marketing. The Icarus Deception. Seth Godin (And there are many more! I just picked those 2 for this moment.)

The Fifth Discipline, Peter Senge

Good to Great, Jim Collins

Between the World and Me, Ta-Nehisi Coates

The Self-Made Myth: And the Truth About How Government Helps Individiuals and Businesses Succeed. Brian Miller & Mike Lapham

You Can’t Be Neutral on a Moving Train: A Personal History of Our Times, Howard Zinn

Robin Hood Was Right: A Guide to Giving Your Money For Social Change, Collins, Rogers, and Garner

And these 2 books by Mike Edwards do focus on the nonprofit sector….. Small Change: Why Business Won’t Save the World and Civil Society.

If you live in the USA, have you read any of these books? And if you live in another country, how does any of this pertain to your country? These books are about society…so they certainly do apply to the nonprofit sector, too.

• Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America? Barbara Ehrenreich is the author. The book was published in 2001…a New York Times bestseller. And while those 19 years have certainly shown some changes and new stuff and and and… the overall story is pretty much the same…and even worse in some cases. Check out Ehrenreich’s “sequels”. Bait and Switch: The (Futile) Pursuit of the American Dream (2005). And This Land is Your Their Land (2008).
• And here’s another useful book The Corporation: The Pathological Pursuit of Profit and Power, Joel Bakan.

Okay. I have to stop now. So many. So much.

I just get so tired of hearing so many people whining about having no time to learn more…read…visit the meaningful and learnful stuff on the Internet. Blah blah blah. If someone isn’t a lifelong learner, how can that someone be a professional?

I believe in lifelong learning – and I don’t see enough of it. I actually read a note somewhere sometime from a consultant who said… “I don’t read books anymore. I’m a consultant now. I know this stuff.” (If I could have found this person, just imagine how I might have responded!!!)

Okey dokey. Enough now.

P.S. Happy birthday and bonne anniversaire, my Tommy…

I’m just too angry and frustrated. And this is about boards and bosses and ignorance and… [But there is a P.S. at the bottom about recent happenings in this racist US of A.]

Me (and you) are righteously angry towards board members and bosses who think they know more about fundraising than the fundraising staff. You and I are often appropriately angry towards board members who pay attention to body of knowledge and research expressed by lawyers and accountants and doctors and… But ignore and insult and trespass against resesarch and body of knowledge from fundraisers.

I’ve ranted about this forever and ever and over and over…

But here’s a new thought. A more gracious perspective. I don’t always have to be so angry!!! So here goes. What do you think?

We have to get across to all staff and all board members — everyone in every single nonprofit around the world — that a competent nonprofit organization does NOT need fundraising IDEAS.

Like any profession and professional, there’s academic and practitioner research and multiple bodies of knowledge about what/why/how to do fundraising. Fundraisers don’t seek new ideas. Like any competent professional, fundraisers read and study and learn. Fundraisers are lifelong learners following the international leaders in the field…reading the research. Etc. etc. blah blah blah.

I think that board members (and often bosses, too) are trying to help those poor fundraisers by coming up with new ideas. But why? What’s that about? These bosses and board members don’t suggest ideas to accountants, lawyers, medical doctors, road construction workers, house builders…

Hell…I wouldn’t even offer ideas to tech experts and guitar players or my hair dresser or …. I figure they all studied. Read the research. Followed highly knowledgeable practitioners and researchers. Practiced and learned more!

I think some board members, donors, bosses, whomever… are trying to help by suggesting ideas. Bless their hearts. Bless their hearts? I actually thought that was meant graciously. Until a Southern friend of mind explained to me: “Bless your heart” is actually not a compliment. It’s more like “what the hell you moron?!” (I can’t remember where I read this moron statement. But it sure is cool.)

Where does this not-so-good helping hand come from? Why don’t board members, bosses, whomever realize that fundraising (and governance and management and…) are actually professions with bodies of knowledge. WTF?

I think there’s a whole lot of disrespect for the nonprofit sector. Let’s be honest. If any of us could have gotten a job in a for-profit … you know, a “real job”…we wouldn’t be working in the nonprofit sector. (Surely you’ve experienced that snide reference sometime in your life.)

So the BIG BIG message that we have to get out there to our bosses and board members and and and … The nonprofit sector is different than the for-profit sector. And also similar in some ways. And professionals in the nonprofit sector know the distinctions and similarities.

• There is a body of knowledge in fundraising and donor-centered communications. Financing is different. Measures are different. (Just read Jim Collins’ monograph Good to Great and the Social Sectors.)
• Asking for gifts is not totally like selling. And your fundraising staff darn well better start learning about philanthropic psychology.
• Without a culture of philanthropy, that nonprofit won’t thrive. It’s like Peter Drucker kept trying to teach us all [for-profits and nonprofits]: organizational culture will eat strategy for breakfast, lunch, and probably dinner too.

So back to the very big message that nonprofits and competent fundraisers and top-notch nonprofit leaders must must get out to their board members and others:

• Fundraising is NOT NOT NOT about coming up with ideas.
• Fundraising is about learning the body of knowledge…following the research…building the capacity and competency of the nonprofit and its employees and volunteer, including board members.

Thank you kind board members and bosses….The best fundraisers do not need ideas. The best fundraising programs aren’t looking for ideas. Follow the research. Now. Just do it. 

Hire well. And let the top-notch fundraisers do their work. Thank you!

P.S. I wrote this Simone Uncensored blog before George Floyd and yet another need to say that Black Lives Matter. I can’t even write about this “fucking country” although I’ve tweeted some. And unless you really know me and what I’ve done over the decades — not just writing but acting out — don’t you dare tarnish so many of us who you claim aren’t doing enough.

Check out Globetrotting Fundraiser, Ligia Peña, M.Sc., CFRE, MInstF

How about the Online Legacy Bootcamp? Next session starts in May! (The April sesson is sold out.)

Check out her blogs and free webinar about building a case for a legacy program…

Want a coach? Visit Ligia

This lengthy article is the result of reading an article by Andy Serwer with Max Zahn: “Why the rent is due for rich people in the time of the coronavirus.”  Read the Serwer/Zahn article first.

And now, watch out, I’m going to babble and even lecture a bit. You know me…the Simone Uncensored bitch…So here goes……………….

………….An Article in the time of the Coronavirus…from Simone Joyaux…………..   

Philanthropy….From the Greek, philanthropia. Love of humankind. But my favorite definition of philanthropy comes from John Gardner, voluntary action for the common good.

Doesn’t matter if it’s $10 or $25 million. Voluntarily taking action for the common good. Common good…community…Concept of civil society.

And, of course, philanthropy means giving money AND/OR!!!! time.

Of course I want the very rich to give lots of money. Especially as millions of people worldwide are losing their jobs, closing their businesses…

However, I must say that I’m really tired of the focus on big money and big news, e.g., disasters like a hurricane or coronavirus. Because shit happens every day and people have been starving for decades and living on the streets and guns keep killing kids and college is too expensive and there’s no universal healthcare. And in the USA, only 2% or so of GDP has gone to charity during the past 60 years. (I hope you read Giving USA, the annual report.)

Ah, the big money…Certainly the culture of the US of A. Money money money…The celebrity of wealth. Big money always seems to win. What a terrible culture.

One of my pet peeves is the phrase “major donor” and “major gift”… All that money that those wealthy people give/gave… I’m pretty damn sure it didn’t change their lives at all. I’d like everyone to think of the mother at the charter school (former client of mine) who gave 5 single dollar bills to the school where her child goes. And that money would have been spent on her family’s special holiday dessert. But she and her family gave the gift to the school instead.

Yes, I want those wealthy peeps to give and give more and give regularly. But I want every country and every person and everyone to respect the others who give time and money. Shall we call them the minor donors? Because if there are major donors, there must be minor donors. WTF!!

Here’s something I think about always…. Philanthropy…. VOLUNTARY action for the common good. So I want everyone – especially those who have excess money – to choose to give.

And I suppose that I could say that since really wealthy people made their money from their communities … I’d like to think that those very wealthy people actually think that – on a pretty substantial level – that they actually “owe” care and voluntary action for the COMMON good.

In my deepest hopeful world, I dream that all people look at themselves and wonder what they might do for the common good. 

• Obligations like voting – civic duty – building a civil society. Read Mike Edwards’ books about civil society.
• DEFINITELY read Mike’s book Small Change: Why Business Won’t Save the World. To me, this book is a must read for anyone who works in philanthropy. And I’m thinking a must read for all of us in society. Because for-profit business isn’t going to save any world…any community.

In my deepest soul, I dream that each of us and all of us look at others as human beings…with basic human rights…That we all fight for social justice…welcome inclusion…demand equity. And all that is built by a civil society…promoted through philanthropy…Voluntary action for the common good. That’s what I keep fighting for.

• I respect the mother who gave those $5 to her children’s school.
• I’m thankful that some really RICH people are giving money now…and I dream that they will give in the future as regular philanthropists.

I look at Tom and me…We aren’t Bezos or any of the other names in the article, “Why the rent is due for rich people in the time of coronavirus.” But we’ve worked hard for years and have no children and live life well — and we’re damn affluent!

Tom and I are so fortunate. We’ve saved enough to retire well, too. We have no children and no one who needs care from us. So 100% of our estate goes to charity. And every year we give approximately 20% of our income to charity. Why not? We have the money!

Philanthropy…Voluntary action for the common good. And there’s the challenge. I do believe that philanthropy is voluntary. In my dream world, everyone who can is philanthropic in some way. 

• Giving time at the Food Bank or Planned Parenthood or that environmental org you love
• Giving money to the charter school, to fight for women’s rights and against birth defects, to save the land and the water…to fight against the coronavirus…

Everyone gives for his/her/their own reasons … whether it’s businesses, foundations, individuals… You and your family, Tom and me.

• Yes, some give charitable gifts to get their names broadcast around town and even around the world. Some give to get positive PR…to compensate for bad actions… for glory and fame…
• Some give because they want to serve on the most famous/important board in the community.
• Some give to fight homelessness – perhaps that person was once homeless or knew someone…
• Others give because they love the land and water and worry about climate change and…

I’ve worked in the philanthropic sector for 45 years. It’s not my right to tell others where to give. It’s not my right to evaluate your choices.

I can hope that you give. I do hope you choose philanthropy – voluntary action for the common good – to be in your life. 

I have chosen philanthropy – even when I die…and am dead.

P.S. An interesting, perhaps, P.S. Based on their own missions, some charities won’t accept gifts if the proposed donor(s) have “tainted” money. Tobacco companies intentionally addicted people…so have some drug companies. Imagine the conversation that cancer and lung associations had and may still have, should we accept gifts from those businesses.