Women

Today is July 5, 2014.

Yesterday was July 4th, U.S. independence day. The annual big day when the U.S. celebrates its specialness, its greatness – even more than the U.S. does seemingly every day every year always.

But some people asked us to reflect, not just celebrate. Some writers challenged us all, and challenge us regularly . . . To truly examine. To question. To acknowledge – and fight – racism, sexism, poverty, corporate power, the 99% and the 1%.

If one is really and truly American… Then maybe U.S. independence day should be a bit more about self-examination and evaluation… Just a bit more of that than celebration.

Sixty-Five Million Left Out of July 4th Celebration by Bill Quigley

“The greatest time bomb ever laid beneath history was laid 238 years ago today.” Our Most Important Struggle Remains: “To Be Self Evident.”

“How do we restore the sense that it’s still terrific to be Amerian?” Celebrate the Revolution – And Keep It Going by Bill Moyers and Bernard Weisberger

It’s getting worse, not better.

How weird. Within 60 seconds of posting this morning’s blog – “Racism and the United States” – I read Charles Blow’s “Yes, All Men,” in the New York Times.

“Yes, All Men” motivated me to write this companion piece to my blog “Racism and the United States.” “Misogyny and the United States” is a good partner for “Racism and the United States.” And we can add in “Homophobia and the United States,” too. I blog about these various items fairly regularly. And I speak up when I present and I write.

So here goes…. Again and forever until we have equity for all!

“Sexism” … A bit of an easier word than “misogyny.” But are they different? Not in action. Socialized and institutionalized behaviors. Even women can be misogynistic.

Check out Wikipedia:
Sociologist Allan G. Johnson says, “misogyny is a cultural attitude of hatred for females because they are female…misogyny…is a central part of sexist prejudice and ideology and, as such, is an important basis for the oppression of females in male-dominated societies… Misogyny functions as an ideology or belief system that has accompanied patriarchal, or male-dominated societies for thousands of years and continues to place women in subordinate positions with limited access to power and decision making.”

Yes, that still happens. Yes, the U.S. is that kind of society. Did you know that the U.S. has a larger gender gap than 22 other countries? Did you know that the U.S. ranks 84th in the world in the number of women in elective office at the federal level? (We used to rank 82nd.)

The gender gap. Sexism. Misogyny. In the U.S. In many countries. In various religions. Part of various political philosophies.

“I believe it’s very important for everyone to be a feminist.” That’s what Mr. Blow’s son said to him… And that’s how Blow begins his op-ed piece today.

Blow continues with: “Yes, we should all be feminists, but too often we believe that the plight of the oppressed is solely the business of the oppressed, and that the society in which that oppression is born and grows and the role of the oppressors and beneficiaries are all somehow subordinate.”

But that’s just plain wrong, as Blow notes. “Fighting female objectification and discrimination and violence against women isn’t simply the job of women; it must also be the pursuit of men.  Only when men learn to recognize misogyny will we be able to rid the world of it.” (Actually, fighting any oppression is the responsibility of everyone, not just the oppressed, not just the marginalized. White people marched with Martin Luther King, Jr. Straight people march with the LGBTQ community. Men march with women.)

Sexism. Misogyny. It’s real – just like human made climate change is real. Facts prove it. YES, FACTS!

• Check out the World Economic Forum annual gender gap report. Read the Universal Declaration of Human Rights from the United Nations, written at the U.N.’s founding. Check out the U.N.’s WomenWatch, the gender equality news feed.
• Are you familiar with UN Women, the United Nations Entity for Gender Equality and the Empowerment of Women?  Have you read the requirements of the Commission on the Status of Women – and the requirements for gender equality?
• And there is so much more research and documentation and facts about the poor status of women…

So are you a feminist? I’m so tired of hearing women and men say “Well, I just don’t identify with that word but…” Again, from Wikipedia: “Feminism is a collection of movements and ideologies aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, cultural, and social rights for women. This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment. A feminist advocates for or supports the rights and equality of women.”

A feminist advocates and supports the rights and equality of women, equity for women. What’s not to like? Cut the simplistic crap and the word games. Are you a feminist? Do you believe in equity – for women and men and people of color and homosexuals and heterosexuals and and… ?

(Guess what I just learned? Charles Fourier, a Utopian Socialist and French philosopher, apparently invented the word “feminism” in 1837. And the terms appeared in France and the Netherlands in 1872.)

By the way, philanthropy and the nonprofit/NGO sector are enmeshed in this same moral dilemma of inequity and power.

Okay. That’s the end of today’s ranting. I’ve got client work to do.

“… [I]t is all About Race, even though it can’t be About Race because nothing ever is About Race.” What a glorious statement from Charles Pierce, Esquire, referencing the U.S. Senate’s vote not to approve Debo Adegbile’s nomination as Assistant Attorney General for Civil Rights.

See this article, “The Senate Democrats Chicken Out in Nominating Debo Adegbile.

How can people think we’re living in a post-racial society … just because we elected a black president?  Racism runs rampant in the U.S. Racism is institutionalized – and we’re socialized.

It’s all About Gender, too …  even thought it can’t be About Gender because nothing ever is About Gender. Hmmm…

In my state, the previous governor, Donald Carcieri appointed 3 (or was it 5?) white men to the judiciary in his first few months in office. Like there are only white men in Rhode Island? Like they’re the most competent? Like who in his administration was aware of or concerned about racism and sexism?

Or how about a board/staff planning retreat that I facilitated. Participants talked about valuing diversity. I asked what they meant. They responded, “things like race and gender.” I responded that the board was composed of all white men – about the same age. The board member participants responded: “But it’s so hard to find competent women and people of color.”

To be NOT about racism, sexism, or homophobia … we actually have to be so aware of those things that we proactively seek to avoid them. There is no such thing as blind justice. We have to see in order to remove injustice.

I just listened to a podcast from CBC (that’s Canadian public radio). The podcast is: Checking Privilege – Movement sprats debate on college campuses (May 8, 2014).

Worth listening to – for everyone. What’s your privilege? Are you comfortable exploring your privilege – in conversation with others?  What’s my privilege? (If you’ve ever heard me speak or read my stuff … you’ve probably heard me say: “I’m a white, well-educated, affluent, heterosexual woman. I win the privilege lottery … except for gender… because it’s a disadvantage to be a woman in every country in the world. But as a white, heterosexual woman – I won the lottery.)

And by the way, what’s the privilege of your donors and your board members? And what are the implications?

My colleague Andrea Hlady, Cohort 17 at Saint Mary’s University of Minnesota (Masters Program in Philanthropy and Development) – sent me the podcast link yesterday. She knows how the issue of privilege is so dear to my heart and brain.

Thank you Andrea.

And hey out there. Listen to it. Maybe with your staff colleagues. Maybe with your board.

I am sure that many of you have seen this. It’s amusing. And then we say to ourselves, “Of course, we don’t do this now.”

But maybe we do? There isn’t gender equity yet – not on any country in the world – except Iceland, which actually has a law and studies progress. I wonder if there was the same “guide” for “hiring men?” Would you like to make a bet?

So check out these tips – for men supervising women in the workforce during WW II.

1. Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they’re less likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn’t be doing it, they still have the pep and interest to work award and to deal with the public efficiently. (Hmmmm… Flirtatious? Wouldn’t work if they didn’t have to?)

2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are included to be cantankerous and fussy. (What can I say? Really?)

3. General experience indicates that “husky” girls – those who are just a little on the heavy side – are more even temperated and efficient than their underweight sisters. (Wouldn’t you just love to see the scientifically-valid research that documents this statement?)

4. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick, and wash her hands several time a day. (I know that, for me personally, tidy hair is a constant stress. And I’m always worried about my lipstick, e.g., picking colors and keeping it fresh for that next gentleman, or husky woman, or that elderly cantankerous gal who might come near me.)

5. Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can’t shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a women – it breaks her spirit and cuts her efficiency. (Isn’t it marvelous that men are insensitive clods who don’t mind the harsh critique and ridicule offered by those all-too-qualified male bosses? Wow.)

I’ve just picked 5 of the 11. I cannot pick more. Because actually, this isn’t amusing. This was real. Some of this is still real. Yes, still real. But since it’s politically incorrect (and illegal), the behaviors may be more subtle.

What do you experience at work – whether you are a woman or a man?

“Nous allons vers un monde que je n’ai pas voulu, mais c’est le monde vers lequel on va.”

“We are heading for a world that I didn’t want — but that’s the world we’re heading for.”

This comes from the Franco-Canadian television show XIII.

That is certainly how I feel. A world that I don’t want…With the NSA spying on everyone. (And I think Edward Snowden is a hero like Daniel Ellsberg was with the Pentagon Papers.) A world of Tea Party Republicans. A dysfunctional U.S. Congress where the behavior of so many should be illegal and worthy of jail time. A still racist and sexist and homophobic U.S., along with so many other countries. The 1% beating the 99%. Fact deniers. And so much more.

A world that I don’t want. But that’s the world we’re in and heading for even more deeply, I fear.

Thanks to Jean-Claude for telling me this quote. Fab, my cousin and Jean-Claude, her husband, live near us in France.

I think this is a marvelous quote: “Justice before charity.” Pope John XXIII said that.

I’m a proud donor to the planned parenthood movement. So is my life partner, Tom. He’s a feminist and social justice advocate, too.

Reproductive justice is part of leveling the playing field for women and girls.

Here’s some amazing information:

99% of sexually active American women between the ages of 15 and 44 have used birth control at some point in their lives.

Why? So they can plan their pregnancies. Why does that matter? Planning parenthood helps you stay in school and get an education and get a job. Planning parenthood helps you take care of the children you have already. Planning parenthood can help more women run for office and then we can elect more women. Planning parenthood can help protect a woman’s health. Planning parenthood is smart for the economy and for families and for boys and men.

Here are the facts about that planning:

• 65% of women who use contraception say the main reason they use it is because they cannot afford to take care of a baby.
• 51% of women say that birth control use allows them to complete their education.
• 63% of women say birth control use allows them to take better care of their families.
• 27 million women have already benefited from the Affordable Care Act (ACA) by using birth control (preventative healthcare) without having to pay the co-pay. Yes, some people cannot afford to pay the co-pay!

Planning parenthood is smart. And it’s justice.

Read Adrian Sargeant’s article in Summer 2013 Nonprofit Quarterly. “Donor Retention: What Do We Know and What Can We Do about it.” And then do it!

Dip into the Agitator series on Donor Retention. Embrace that, too!

Compare your board’s performance to Board Source’s  Nonprofit Governance Index 2012. Yes, it was published in September 2012. But refresh your memory!

Now take a look at NPQ‘s online article by Rob Meiksins, “Is Dr. King’s Dream Realized? Not on Boards.”

Check out “Missing Pieces: Women and Minorities on Fortune 500 Boards.”

And then, read Delia Ephron’s 09-07-13 New York Times piece, “You Can’t Have It All, but You Can Have Cake.” A commentary on having it all (which may be a particularly American perspective).

I’m sitting here in my hotel room in Paris. I’m presenting at the French fundraising conference. Always interesting to be outside the U.S., talking with new people, appreciating different cultures, honoring the beauty and reality that people experience life differently.

Yes, people experience life differently – based on culture and race/ethnicity,  gender,  sexual orientation,  physical ability, faith, socioeconomic status, etc. All that produces discrimination. Every country has some form of discrimination. And we certainly have lots of discrimination in the U.S. So government has a significant role in ensuring that this discrimination is prohibited and compensated for.

But in the U.S., mostly the guys win. And the whites mostly win. And so do the heterosexuals.

I want to yell and scream and cry at the infamy – yes infamy of the U.S. Supreme Court and Texas and New York and and and … Shame on you. Shame on you.

In just one U.S. week – several actions will live on in infamy for many of us:

• The U.S. Supreme Court struck down a vital portion of the Voting Rights Act. Essentially because it is old- fashioned. “Gosh,” said 4 white guys and a black guy, “U.S. voting districts don’t try to make it hard for people of color to vote. Gosh. Not any more.” Well that’s untrue. 
• New York State did not adopt a bill of rights for women. Wisely proposed by Governor Andrew Cuomo. Includes a woman’s right to choose in NY state – even if the  U.S. Supreme Court (mostly men) strikes down Roe versus Wade.
• And Texas. Well, there is always Texas. Another law against women. But a female legislator filibustered for 11 hours. And citizens demonstrated. And maybe (or maybe not) the law didn’t get passed through the roll-call vote before the legislative session ended. So maybe the rights of women won. But what a shame that the bill was proposed and required a filibuster in the first place!

And that’s not the end for this infamous week and these infamous men (and some women in the state legislatures): The U.S. Supreme Court compromised affirmative action. “Because there’s just not enough discrimination against people of color and women to warrant any special consideration anymore.” It’s not as if affirmative action (and that silly little part of the Voting Rights Act) made any difference at all in these past decades. Wow.

Apparently, since we elect women to the U.S. Congress and state legislatures (a paltry few compared to dozens of other countries) – and because we elected a black president – well, that means that racism and sexism aren’t very powerful in the U.S. anymore. And birth control and the right to choose for women… Well, that just isn’t that important.

There’s one more opportunity for the U.S. Supreme Court to make this one hell of a big week: marriage equality. The Supremes still have that one to decide.

I am so angry. I am so disappointed. I am so tired of fighting for basic human rights for people of color and women and homosexuals. But fight I will. And so will so many many many others.

Maybe you’ve watched this YouTube video before. I hadn’t.

I started to cry. Tom was standing behind me with his hands on his shoulders. He hugged me.

Why do women do this to themselves? Why is one’s self image less than…

Thanks to Dove for such a lovely piece. You are beautiful. I am beautiful. Yes, we are beautiful.